Life, The Universe, and Obsessiveness

It’s Complicated. Life is Too Short to Waste It

I make no apologies for the sometimes chaotic content of these posts. A theme may arise as I’m writing, but a theme isn’t everything. Besides, I’ve been there and done that (no doubt I’ll do it again). Still, I’ve been writing in this format for a few weeks now and am not yet done with it. Having said that, I’d better start thinking about the next few posts in advance just to get a bit ahead. Or maybe not.

Balancing Life’s Priorities

Am I Obsessive?

In the introduction of last week’s newsletter, I briefly mentioned the ‘requirement’ to write every day. After only a shade over a week of following that advice, I failed again. I blame my, fortunately, mild form of OCD; let me explain.

I commute to the client’s office three days a week. The hour it takes each way isn’t wasted, though. I mostly use the time to listen to several podcasts I subscribe to. But podcasts aren’t the only thing I listen to. Over the last few months, audiobooks have become more dominant in my listening habits.

Although I’ve listened to them for a lot longer than a few months, they got their nasty hooks into me only after I found and binged on The Stand by Stephen King, the extended version. Like many, I get a credit every month via my Audible subscription. A recent recommendation was Blue Remembered Earth by Alastair Reynolds. I have it in my Kindle library, but it has been several years since I read it. This is where my OCD tendencies come in.

Unfortunately, or should that be fortunately, Blue Remembered Earth is the first of a trilogy: the Poseidons Children trilogy. After exhausting the first book, I couldn’t resist using my remaining credit for the second book; how could I? Listening to the last book in the trilogy as I write this, about a third of the way through.

Yes, I could resist this compulsion, but I’m weak and feeble-minded when it comes to books, printed, digital, or, as in this case, audio. Besides, we only have one life, so, best to enjoy every moment to the fullest. Don’t you agree?

A New Compulsion

After years of neglect, I finally committed to a regular exercise regime: I joined a health and Sports club. I want to say it was my idea, but I’d be lying. My wife bullied me into it. I could have been resentful, as it meant taking time away from other pleasures, such as writing. Honestly, after two months, I can say that I have zero regrets.

When I say ‘after years of neglect,’ I think I should clarify. It has been almost 30 years since I last did anything that could be called physically active (working in the garden or spring cleaning don’t count). Way back in the mid-90s, I was still living in Scotland. Every weekend (and I mean every), I packed up my kit and went hiking and climbing in the mountains. Bad weather never stopped me, not even deep snow in the dead of winter.

I was extremely fit in those days and thought nothing of climbing the small mountain near my home (the Bennachie, if you’re interested) after work. To give some context, my very last day in the mountains before I moved to the European mainland was a seven-mountain ridge walk, which I completed in around nine hours. As I said, pretty fit.

In the intervening years, I’d thought about, even checked out, several gyms in my area, but they all looked so dull. This club is anything but boring. Just about any fitness and exercise machine you can think of is available, along with a swimming pool and sauna. I’m only touching on the diversity of the facilities; I’ll not bore you by listing them out.

Suffice it to say I have yet another compulsion to add to the list. I try to go three times a week at the moment; no point in overdoing things and hurting myself after such a long layoff, is there?

Bringing Order to Disorder

I’m an organized should at heart, but I’ve bitten off more than I can comfortably chew these days. I don’t make it any easier on myself, of course not; there is no point in taking the easy path, is there? I’ll be celebrating my 65th birthday this year; if I’m lucky, I may have another 20 years ahead of me, more if I’m extremely lucky; no time to waste then.

Since starting The Everyday Solopreneur two years ago, I’ve also been busy learning new skills and technologies, from generative AI and all its facets to writing a book (fiction). I recently hived off the AI-related content to a new publication, Your Creative Edge, although finding the time to post is a struggle.

Family commitments and responsibilities have also grown over the same period. My best friend and the father of my step-children is struggling with cancer; it seems that he is close to giving in to his illness. Understandable after nearly two years of immunotherapy, chemo, and radiation therapy. He’s aged 10 years in just the last year alone. Either he decides to go on, or he doesn’t. We can only be there for him, whatever he chooses. I’m worried about him, unsurprisingly.

Of course, my wife needs attention, too. Recently, I’ve been so focused on my life that she feels unwanted and underappreciated. The silly thing is, as much as I enjoy writing in my office, I miss being with her more. Finding that balance is the most difficult challenge I face today.

Figuring out how to slot all the different life threads together is my biggest problem. It doesn’t help that I’m winding down my professional life, not that I had any choice in the matter. Such is life. I suppose I’ll keep juggling things around until they fit into a reasonable order.

Until then, best to embrace the chaos and run with it.

Final Thoughts

It’s been a strange week. I started out full of good intentions: writing my newsletters and getting ahead of the curve, catching up on both my personal and company admin tasks, working on the outline for the book, and devoting myself to the family.

My compulsive needs have trumped my good intentions, though. I guess I’ll just have to try harder. But I only have so much energy to give. I keep promising myself that I’ll do better. In truth, things are improving, just not as quickly as I had hoped. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining. Life is a whole lot better than most.

This is my final, final thought. Years ago, when I was still in the old country, I worked with The Samaritans. It was a rewarding, if emotionally draining, experience, and I would love to work with them again one day. However, there doesn’t seem to be any equivalent organization here in the Netherlands. Even if there were, I don’t think my Dutch would be good enough for the clients. Maybe one day.