The Pursuit of Balance: Managing a Multi-Stream Life
Life Begins at Sixty: Blending Family, Career, and Creativity
I still ask myself why I started so many things after reaching my sixtieth birthday. Why on earth didn’t I start sooner, much sooner? But then, I wouldn’t have had the same life experiences. No matter how I tried to rationalise it, I was too frightened to start something new, preferring to sit and vegetate deep within my comfort zone.
Disclosure. I use an AI assistant when writing. The assistant suggested outlines and topics or subtleties I had not thought of. The actual writing is all human me.
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At the beginning of last year, I decided to grow my company, which until then had been a convenience. So now I had a whole new set of tasks to manage in addition to my day job and private life. On top of this, I had always wanted to write but always found excuses not to. I finally took the plunge at the beginning of 2023 by starting my Medium publication; a month later, I joined Substack.
I’ll be the first to admit that 2023 was chaotic, at best. I fell down so many rabbit holes that seemed like a good idea at the time, but I only wasted time doing anything except the tasks that would mean leaving my comfort zone.
This year, 2024, is the year to organise all four major life streams seriously and properly. I’ve had plenty of time recently to think things through. As a knowledge worker, physical activity is a welcome downtime for the brain; the recent, ongoing, but nearly complete kitchen renovation has given me plenty of time to ruminate on the mistakes made over the last 12 months and, more importantly, how to resolve them from now on.
Servicing Contracts and Learning When to Switch Off
If I let it, managing an extensive suite of interrelated applications will take all my mental energy. Not every application was built using a common technology base; instead, the base application dates from 2011 and is, in effect, a desktop application. Later, applications were web-based, where the only common denominator was the database they all worked with.
Supporting clients and developers is always challenging, and the temptation to dismiss requests for assistance must be resisted. It is easy to forget that things that are self-evident and obvious to us are most certainly a mystery to others. We must remember that we’ve been working in various fields for many years, so it’s unreasonable to expect anywhere near the same level of knowledge as our own.
In days gone by, I used my commuting time to think about the coming day’s plan of attack on the way to the office and check things off on my way home. I never listened to music; my busy mind required peace and quiet. On top of this, I would often check my work email several times in the evening and periodically over the weekends.
If this sounds familiar, don’t do this anymore. The first thing to change is email checking; never look at the work email during your time off. The only exceptions are for emergencies, which, fortunately, are rare. Another change is how we spend time during the daily commute. For example, listen to podcasts or audiobooks instead of thinking about work. They open the mind and provide a balance to the daily stresses.
Solopreneurship
I realise I was too nice last year; a better description would be that I have been guilty of ridiculous naivety. When I saw a job vacancy that stated the requirements of either full-time, on-site, or both, I would skip the vacancy and look further.
What I now understand is that I have valuable skills and experience. Vacancies are always worded in such a way to describe an ideal candidate. The truth is that there is a need that I could fulfil, but only under my terms and conditions.
No matter how many hours you can spare for consultancy work, for recruiters, several hours per week is better than nothing, even if it’s a short-term temporary contract until a more flexible candidate can be found. I have one day a week this year for other consultancy work, perhaps more in the future, depending on how things pan out. This is it for this year; take it or leave it.
We should all know our worth, so when you see an opportunity this year, grab it with both hands; if it doesn’t work out, fine. But don’t undervalue yourself anymore; at a minimum, your name and expertise will become more widely known.
Stick to your guns; you can offer only so much, no matter how green the grass looks on the other side.
Fanning the Creative Flames
I love writing, always have, and it fits perfectly in my introvert mindset. I’m sure at least some of you reading this feel much the same, but unless you sit down and write, you will regret it later in life. I never had the guts to put my scribblings out there; I was always worried that I wasn’t good enough. Good enough for whom, though, if it is something you want to do, do it.
I’m finally picking up a book I started writing six years ago. It will be my first; undoubtedly, it won’t be terrific, but I don’t care anymore. When it’s finished, I’ll self-publish and have a few print-on-demand copies made. Just so I can hold it in my hands and think, I made this.
When we write, our primary reason for doing so should be for our satisfaction. It would be great if we could sell a few copies; obviously, we’d like to sell more than a few. The point is to get it out there, learn from the experience and start writing the next one and the next.
Life is so short, and though I never allow myself to regret anything, I’d have started writing decades ago if I had my time again. I wouldn’t say it’s too late now, only that my time is limited. Apart from the already-started but never finished book, I also have several ideas for short stories. One of which I’m thinking of serialising on Substack. I’m a bit nervous about this, but reader feedback would be valuable overall.
The only way to be a writer is to write. But this takes time, and if we think that we can squeeze in an hour or so now and again, we’d never get anything finished. The solution is to time-block. Make an appointment in your diary; I will spend two hours writing every Saturday and Sunday morning, starting at 7 AM. Then treat the work like you would an appointment with a client; don’t be late, and don’t simply not turn up.
Last but not least is this weekly newsletter. I’ve never journaled, although I’ve tried many times. These newsletters take the place of journaling. Whatever, they certainly help me get my thoughts in order. Hopefully, they may help you, too.
Cultivate a Fulfilling Personal Life
We are told that the most important thing in life is family, and this is important. But how often do you push the family to the bottom of your priority list to be able to support a client or follow your muse? I’ve been guilty of this over the last few years. It’s time for a change before I lose everything.
Quality time with loved ones is the only thing that matters; memories and precious moments will accompany us to our graves. When we reach our last days, do you really think you’ll look back at your professional life? The only part of life that matters is family.
My wife and I have been together for over twenty years; starting this year, I’ll be asking her out on a date at least once a month. More if possible. When I’m busy planning my agenda, I’ll leave large spaces free for family time.
As a busy professional, letting your partner take responsibility for organising family events and vacations is easy. Instead, get involved as much as you can. Even if you aren’t interested or in the mood, do it anyway. Show that you care. Making those around you happy will always make you happiest.
Time Management
So, how do we manage all of these sometimes conflicting lifestreams? A simple calendar or diary will do just fine. I use Notion and Fantastical to detail and time-block the different tasks.
I don’t plan out the hours for the day job; in general, I leave these hours blank in my calendar. This may change, though; perhaps it would be helpful to be able to visualise my commitments fully. If nothing else, It’d ensure I leave myself enough personal downtime.
Next up is writing time; this gets added to Fantastical as several recurring appointments. On Friday for the newsletter and on Saturdays and Sundays for creative writing. As mentioned before, these appointments must be treated like any other appointment; they must be set in stone. Only exceptional circumstances should be allowed to disrupt the planning.
Lastly, the various aspects and administration required for my solopreneur business. These are flexible in their nature, depending on client appointments and any administration tasks. The majority of Fridays are for business tasks.
This leaves me free for private and personal life every evening and weekend, excluding the creative writing time block.
The above sounds simple to plan and execute, but unless I stick to the appointments, it will quickly descend into the same chaos I went through last year. Self-discipline is the key.
Final Thoughts
Although 2023 was chaotic, it was an incredibly valuable learning experience. Basically, how not to run or ruin your life. Planning and sticking to the plan is the only way this will work. I’ll report back in the newsletter now and again so that you can see if I practice what I preach.
Suppose you are also struggling and juggling so many tasks that you can never get things under control. Honestly, you must take a step back and think about your priorities. Cut things out that don’t deliver enough value for your limited time. Concentrate only on the things that matter; get these under control first.
And if you are finding yourself struggling, drop me a comment. A problem shared is a problem halved, as they say.
KodifyIT B.V. is an advisory bureau targeting businesses that have either been on the receiving end of a failed project or are aware of the potential pitfalls and wish to mitigate as much risk as possible while developing a project’s client requirements. We aim to side-step any issues before they cost time and money.
I apologise to my readers for some of the spellings you may feel are incorrect. I was born and brought up in the United Kingdom, and this is the spelling I am comfortable with (Grammarly is happy with it anyway).
“The only way to be a writer is to write”
That’s a great line!
Nice piece. 🙌